The Workout Plan for the 40+-Year-Old Penis

Our bodies are like our finances: The earlier we start saving up and contributing to our overall portfolio, the better off we’ll be. Our penis, too, is much like the stock market: It goes up, then it goes down. But as men reach their 40s, it’s difficult to know whether their little guy is in rude health or just being rude. 

Don’t wait until an underperforming quarter. Follow these tips to be a conscientious investor in your member’s well-being.

Tell your penis, “We want to pump…” (slaps hands) “... you up!”

Worried that Kegels, which strengthen and tighten your pelvic floor muscles, are just for women? Don’t be. 

Here’s how it works: Identify the muscle you’ll be squeezing “by stopping urination midstream,” says Tracey Cox, a sex researcher and author of Great Sex Starts at 50: Age-Proof Your Libido & Transform Your Sex Life. “Squeeze and hold the muscle for around 20 seconds. Then release. Start with 10 repetitions, three times a day. Increase to 20 reps, four times a day. The longer you hold before releasing and the more reps you do, the stronger your muscles will become.”

You can also try something called the towel exercise, which — we won’t sugarcoat this — will make you feel and look like a doofus. “Put a light towel on your semi-erect penis and lift it up and down,” Cox says. “You can strain a penis, so be careful.”

Squat like you mean it

If you want to give your pelvic floor a workout without feeling like you’re auditioning for Puppetry of the Penis, squats are another great way to increase your testosterone levels and improve blood flow to your happy place. 

It you haven’t done a squat since high school gym class, it’s basically the same movement you’d use to pick up a toddler or retrieve something shiny on the floor. Set your feet just a touch wider than hip-width apart with your toes slightly pointed out. Bend your knees, and push out your butt as if you were about to sit down. 

See a urologist before there’s trouble.

“The majority [of men] have not been to a urologist before,” says Larry Lipshultz, M.D., a professor of urology at Baylor College of Medicine in Houston. 

Compare that to women, who typically start seeing a gynecologist at age 16 and have annual checkups. Guys get our cars’ oil changed every 5,000 miles, but when it comes to our penises, we wait till it’s an emergency.

With regular visits — and by regular, we mean once a year — your urologist can check the simple but important mechanics: Is your erection straight or curved? Are the testicles healthy? Do you exhibit good blood flow? Are your hormones normal? If anything’s out of whack, they can find and fix the issue before it becomes a major problem.

You can make your penis stronger with exercise, but not bigger.

Resist the temptation to join the “jelqing” craze. Sorry, but there’s no medical data that suggests the penis-stretching technique, which causes microtears in the penis lining said to increase blood flow, actually works. In fact, some doctors warn that it could lead to Peyronie’s disease, which actually increases the chances of ED.

Don’t expect to add any length or girth the same way you can bulk up your biceps. And honestly, your penis size probably isn’t a problem anyway, despite how unimpressive it can sometimes look in the bathroom mirror. 

“Ninety percent of people come in with this question,” Lipshultz says. “I tell them, ‘I look at undressed men all day long and you’re perfectly normal.’”